She's So Lucky !

People say it all the time: Evie is so lucky to have you. So lucky you chose to be her mom.

I hate it when people say that to me, by the way. What I hear is: Good for you to take in a child that has that -- fill in whatever special need the child happens to have--because no on else would.

I often wonder, does anyone ever say that to a birth-mom? A mom who chose to give birth to and parent a child? Especially a special needs child?

As much as I hate to hear it, I almost said it to a mom today.

And here's why.

We were sitting at the hospital waiting for Evie to be called for speech therapy. Since it's summer, both boys were with me. A mom walked in with not one, but two severely autistic boys. One was upset about a backpack zipper, the other was upset about wearing his shoes. Somehow they ended up on the floor, punching, hitting scratching, spitting.

It was ugly.

The poor mother jumped on top of her boys and pryed them apart. She didn't hurt them, but she was pretty physical. Four therapists came out and wrestled them down the hall into their therapy rooms.

I'm sure this was not the first time this mother had to separate her boys. And probably wouldn't be the last. When they were finally taken into their room for therapy, she relaxed her shoulders and smiled at my boys who happened, for once, to be sitting relatively still.
I saw the same mom on the way out. She was busy telling her boys how much she loved them and and guiding them safely through the parking lot.

She was a mom deep in the trenches. I can't imagine her life. But in the little that I saw her, I had developed a deep respect for her as a mother.

And those boys were lucky to have her. They were lucky she was patient, loving, and kind.

Maybe the next time when someone says it to me, I'll try to take it as a compliment. Maybe, just maybe, someone will say it when I'm having one of those great mom moments. And instead of being annoyed by the comment, I'll smile and just say thanks and say how lucky I am to have Evie, too.

Because, honestly, she's pretty special.

Saying Goodbye

Schools out! I picked Joshua up from school today. And instead of being elated to finally be on summer break he came home and cried. Heartbreaking, hysterical, crying.

Today he said goodbye to his beloved 1st grade teacher. She won't be coming back to his school next year. So the reality is he will probably never see her again. And she wasn't just any teacher. She was one of those teachers that made kids excited to learn. She was part mom, part teacher, part mentor.

And it hit me today that he has spent more time with her than with me this year.

And now she's gone.

Joshua wasn't the only kid crying today. Teary eyed kids surrounded her to give her one last hug...one last goodbye..long after the final bell rang.

I want to protect my kids from heartache. I wish I could take away his sadness. But I know today is just the first of many, many heartaches.

Parenting is hard. Thank the Lord for fabulous teachers who stand beside us, even if they do end up moving.

When I tucked Joshua into bed tonight, he thanked God for his teacher. And through tears he prayed that his next teacher "would be good" and that she would "let them dance in the classroom."

The Blessing of Boys

Caleb, my four year old, tells me at breakfast almost every single day, "Mama, you're sooooo pretty."

He holds my hand in the parking lot or even when we're just reading a book together.

He cuddles, says he loves me about a million times a day, and loves to just sit and talk.

But, boy oh boy, is he all boy. He likes to run, catch frogs, and on Sunday night we caught a snake. He's a play-till-you-got-dirt-in-your-teeth sort of boy. I absolutely cannot imagine not being a mom to my boys.

So I'm shocked when I hear that boys (even the ones with very minor special needs) are hard to place.

ASIA has a list of boys that they would love to share with you. These sweet little boys want forever families. They are just waiting for someone to step up and call them their son.

I have to tell you, I never expected to be the mom to boys. But thankfully God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with not one but two crazy, full of energy boys. Even if you never considered parenting a boy, pop over to ASIA's blog and look at these little sweeties. You never know, you might be surprised to find out your son is waiting for you in China.

Wanting Something Till It Hurts

Have you ever wanted something that actually physically hurts?

I'm betting you can answer yes.

A referral...

An update...

Pictures...

PA, LOA, TA...


We've all be there. But what about the kids? Those that wait for their forever families.

They hurt.

They are waiting.

Maybe they are waiting for you.

Take a look. Maybe one of these sweet Hope Journey Kids is your child.

Quentin is 12 years old and is waiting for his Forever Family. He has repaired Tetrallogy of Fallot. He's outgoing, timid, likes to play games, likes football, and reading. He has a good memory and can express his opinions. He is friendly, enjoys learning about science and sharing his knowledge. Older boys are much harder to place. But this child has so much potential. If he'd nudging at your heart, call Marci at ASIA. She met him.

Lilah is beautiful! She's 7 years old and has softening Focus in Left Cerebral hemisphere. She's elegant and likes her teachers and caretakers and gets along well with other children. She studies seriously to learn children's songs, stories and counting, but her learning ability is a bit poorer than other children her age. She is loved by her nannies and they all hope that she has a wonderful future. She likes to play games and learn the same things as other children her age. She uses both her right and left hands to accomplish her daily living tasks.

Mark is a cutie pie! He's 6 and full of energy. You can tell by his picture he is one spunky little guy. His special need is hydrocephalus. He likes playing with other children at the playground and can take care of his daily living needs. He can sing, recite poems and draw. He can express his needs verbally and is a good student. He is sensible, always ready to help others and learns quickly. Seriously, call Marci, just to see this little guy's picture. He's full of life!

Peter is eight years old and has postoperative Imperforate Anus, Scars on abdomen, hearing deficit. He is outgoing, smart and bright. He enjoys drawing and reading and shares his happiness with others. He likes playing games with his peers, including playing ball and skipping rope. He greets his acquaintances with a sweet smile. He is able to count, write and draw as well as do art projects. His vocabulary isn't as big as his peers, because he just received hearing aids 4 years ago. He is still working on his language abilities.

Bo is eight years old. HIs special need is Postoperative Right Funicular Hydrocele, Mild Developmental Delay. He is an active, tender and shy boy. He doesn't like to talk in new environments, but people that are familiar with him know that he is clever, gifted in intelligence and drawing and treats his things respectfully.


Thomas is eight years old. He has Postoperative Pseudo-hermaphrodism of Male. He's bright, active, energetic and lovely. He is more extroverted than other kids, sometimes making funny faces to show his happiness. He is very curious and always eager for an adventure. Oh, boy, you can tell he is personality plus! Call ASIA and take a look at him. Super cute!

Henry is seven years old and has ear deformities. He is clever and lovely and gets along well with others, although he is not talkative. His speech was unclear until his operation and now his speech is progressing. He likes to go outside for walks led by his teachers and likes to play with other children on the playground. He has good self-care abilities and likes to help others as well.


Cherry is nine years old. This little girl looks like she'd love playing dress up! She is absolutely beautiful and has postoperative cleft lip and palate. She is outgoing and positive. She is very active, yet likes feminine things, like wearing dresses. She is well liked by all. She likes playing with other children on the playground and riding a bike. She is sensitive and helps with chores, such as pushing disabled children in wheelchairs. She knows a lot of Chinese characters and can recite poems, nursery rhymes, count numerals and dance.

Jeremy is four years old and has Developmental Delays. He has a strong personality and can be naughty at times. He is also quite lovely and shares his delicious treats with others. His expressive language skills are behind compared to his peers. He likes to dance and move to music, which is very sweet. He has entered special education to work on his language abilities.

Clive is six years old and has developmental delays. He is active and bright and has earned the nickname of Little Doctor because of his glasses and serious expressions. He likes singing and dancing and can move to the rhythm of the music. Clive has basic knowledge of numeral concepts, understands big and small, many and few and can answer simple questions. He can draw and can memories stories after they are read a few times. His teachers say that he is cute and obedient. He has made great progress in his language and thinking abilities.

Wade is seven years old and is deaf. He is a good student who always has a smile on his face. He is tenacious, careful, patient and has a strong personality. He is helpful and gets along with his peers, and is persistent and sensible. He did not initially have language upon entering the institute, but has since participated in special education and learned sign language.

Dani is six years old and is deaf. She looks so sad in her picture. This little girl desperately needs a forever family. Her nannies are very hopeful that someone will see her and step forward to call her their forever daughter. Although she came to the institute with no language, she has since become less timid and has learned some simple signs. She can take care of herself, run, jump, stand on one foot, take on and off her clothes and uses chopsticks well.

Chance is four years old and has a droopy eye lid, but HAS NORMAL VISION! This kiddo is seriously cute. Call Marci to check him out. He is a clever, extroverted boy who likes drawing, dancing, singing, playing with blocks and playing with other children. He communicates well and likes to ask questions. He is well liked by his teachers and classmates. He can jump, stand on one foot, recognize shapes and colors, big and small and knows numbers up to ten. He knows the days of the week and can tie his shoelaces.

Lilly is six years old and has repaired cleft lip and palate. As a cleft Mama her lip looks great. Seriously. If you want to talk about cleft kiddos and are interested in Lilly, send me an email. Cleft affected kids are near and dear to my heart.

Joel is five years old and has Postoperative CHD, Hypospadias. He is a talkative extrovert with a ready smile. He is warmhearted and likes to play with other children. He can express simple ideas and follow directions. He can jump, draw a person and stand on one foot. He likes to sing and play games and is very active.

Kerry is seven years old and has Esotropia (Crossed Eyes). He is outgoing and extroverted. He likes English, singing and dancing. He dances deftly and sings clearly and is a very artistic child. He can express his thoughts and ideas completely and is a good communicator. He can read simple children's songs and stories and understand the meaning. He is a quick learner and has a good memory. He can write his name and some simple characters. He also has good balance and physical ability.

Gavin is six years old and has club feet. He is polite, can communicate with others very well, is active and outgoing, bright and enthusiastic. He is talkative and extroverted and greets people politely when he meets them. He helps with housework and likes writing Chinese characters, drawing and reading. He is very involved in his classes and likes discussing the material with his peers. He is a very good student.

Jack is six years old and has Postoperative Cleft Lip/Palate. He is kind, friendly and gets along with other children, but is a bit shy. He is active and likes to help others. He can jump, fold paper airplanes and flowers and sing simple children's songs and poems.

Parker is 10 years old and is healthy. He is somewhat introverted, but likes to play football, read and paint. He can do addition and subtraction and knows some geometry. He attends a painting class and likes physical education. He can do all sorts of crafts. He lives in a foster family and can help do some chores and takes care of his younger sister.

Want to learn more about any of these kiddos or see the entire list. Call Marci (503-224-1860) She also awesome at email (marcisk@asiadopt.org)!

Orphan No More!

My amazing, totally-on-the-ball, agency just came home from a Hope Journey. They met so many sweet kiddos, all who deserve and desperately want a family.

Now they are trying to get the word out about these sweethearts. I'm advocating for them. Which means, as my husband says, I cannot bring them all home I have to help find families for them! Because we currently have our hands full.

Seriously, it's dangerous to give me the password to a waiting child list. I could bring any of these kids home. Here's just a few. I promise I'll list more.

First up, and I love this kid already, is Warner. Maybe I'm drawn to him because he reminds me of my Joshua. I wish I could post Warner's picture. His smile will charm you. He's 8 years old and is super outgoing and loves to smile and sing. Marci, from ASIA, got to personally meet him. She says he's honest and has a great memory (wish I had a little of that!).

Next up, is Anna. She is gorgous! She's 7 and her only special need is developmental delays. She loves to wear beautiful clothes (a girl after my own heart!) and has great language skills. She has shown great improvement in the education center.

Shawn is a cutie-pie! Only three and a half years old his special need is arachnoid cyst of temporal/occipital lobes, postoperative intussception. He's described as active and smart. He's so cute and friendly everyone loves him. He likes to play with other kids and some of his favorite things are riding on the rocking horse and playing with balls and blocks. He can walk alone and feed himself. Whenever someone teases him he giggles happily.

Shelby is a doll! Only 2 1/2 she has Postoperative Hip Displasia and Arthrogryposis. Shelby likes to play games with the other children in the playroom and gets along well with them. She loves to be held and acts a bit spoiled with her caregivers. She is shy in front of strangers. She can imitate funny actions and facial expressions on the cartoons. Shelby's physical development is a bit behind because of her condition. She is able to walk, but has difficulty with balance. She can hold a glass to drink, hold a ball to play with and stack blocks.

Harold is 10 years old and has Hepatitis B. He's polite, yet shy when he meets new people. He likes to sing and dance and has learned to count, read poetry and express the meaning. He takes part in performances. He has learned to be independent in his daily needs.

CJ is a cute 7 year old boy with repaired cleft lip/palate and feet hexadactyly. He's clever, cute and restless. He had surgery to repair his special needs and received help articulating his speech. His intellectual ability is good and he is now able to speak clearly and express his feelings. He is a curious little boy and can take care of his daily living needs. He sometimes is quick to pout, but is easily comforted.

Michael is 5 years old and has sequelae of intracranial hemorrhage. OK you have to see this kids picture. His development seems to be normal compared to children his age. Michael is active, outgoing, adorable and gets along well with other children and his foster family. He has a strong body, and is able to skip, feed himself and take care of his daily living needs. He can express himself accurately with language, including making choices about his wants, such as "I want the eggs instead of the tomatoes."


Fabian is a healthy 9 year old boy. He is just waiting for someone to claim him as their forever son. At 7 years old he learned to play football. At 8 years old he learned gymnastics and handstands and could sing the song of the cartoons. At 9 years old he could do many crafts and addition and subtraction to 20. He likes to read books, draw and play football with other boys.

Want to learn more about these kids or see the entire list?
Contact Marci at ASIA at marcik@asiadopt.org.

Did I mention they are a totally awesome agency?

Not the "A" Word Again

I want to be totally upfront: I love talking about adoption. I love following people on their adoption journey. I love, love, love watching all the miracles that happen in adoption. If you ask, God always shows up. Always. Read a few blogs (check out my favorites on the side) and you'll see some pretty awesome miracles. I also love the support of the adoption community.

Now with that said, when we were in Florida on Spring Break, Evie got a lot of attention. I wondered if people are curious about her because she's Chinese or because she has a cleft lip. Her grandpa says it's because she's so darn cute.

My kids love to swim, so we went to the pool every day. On our first day, an older woman jumped out of her chair and started talking about adoption. She had adopted several children and now was the proud grandma to several adopted kiddos. She had an amazing story, and honestly, I did enjoy hearing about it.

The next day, we went back to the pool, and she jumped out of her chair again and handed me something she'd printed out about parenting adopted kids. She went on to explain that she wanted to encourage me.

Her intentions were good.

Then the third day, she told me about a book she had worked on and wanted to send me. Again to encourage me about adoption. This is all fine and I really don't want to sound ungrateful.

But, and this is a big but, Evie is three years old. She is standing right there, and this well meaning lady keeps trying to encourage me about adoption. As if Evie is harder to parent than my two boys.

And to be fair, in many ways Evie is a little more challenging to parent. And I do look to other adoptive parents for guidance, especially well-seasoned parents. But these are not things I want my daughter to hear strangers talk about at the pool.

I am not naive enough to think that Evie's adoption will not have real, significant effects on her life. I get that. What I don't want to have happen is for adoption to be the only thing that defines her.

There is so, so, so much more to Evie.

By the fourth day, I avoided the pool lady.

I love adoption talk. But the pool lady taught me something. I want Evie to have the chance to swim at the pool without the "A" word coming up. And it's my job, as her mother, to protect her from those uncomfortable conversations and prying questions.

Oh, and I never got the book the pool lady promised she'd send me. But I do have a lot of pictures of Evie in the pool. I guess, in the end, she did end up just being one of the gang having fun splashing around.

Stepping Out in Faith

Stepping Out in Faith

Posted using ShareThis
(this is my most recent post from www.thinkchristian.net)
Every parent has heard these whiny words: But I don’t want to.

The phrase usually flies out of my kids’ mouths when I’m asking them to do things like eat their vegetables, take a bath, or brush their teeth. I don’t ask them to do these things because I take great pleasure is seeing them uncomfortable, but rather because I love them and want them to be healthy.

The last time my four year old whined how much he didn’t want to eat his green beans, he added that mommies never have to do anything they don’t want to do. I tried not to laugh and reminded him about all the loads of laundry I wash, the dishes I scrub, and the toilets I clean. But I also couldn’t help but wonder how many times I’ve told God I didn’t want to do something because it took me too far out of my comfort zone.

I’ll be the first to admit it: I like to be comfortable. I don’t really like unexpected changes or challenges. When we traveled to China to adopt our daughter in August of 2009, I knew I was taking the biggest leap of faith in my life. While I was prepared for Evie to have cleft lip and palate and a repaired congenital heart disease, I was not ready for my new two year old daughter to be so delayed that she was more like a three month old baby.

While I loved Evie from the minute I saw her picture, and the love grew even more when I held her for the first time, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t completely devastated to learn that she didn’t know how to walk, how to play with toys, or even how to turn the page of a book. As I watched other parents receive their children, I couldn’t help but notice that their kids could all walk, would smile, and laugh. I found myself asking God why me? Why was my beautiful daughter completely shutdown? Why didn’t she look at us? Why couldn’t she walk? Why did she only weigh 15 pounds?

As I wallowed in my own self-pity, my husband told me something that I already knew: God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Let him work. Give him control. Then he gently reminded me that we prayed for God to lead us to our daughter. It was no mistake that we were Evie’s parents. So we took our daughter home and settled into our new, sometimes uncomfortable, normal as a family of five.

Seven months, and many, many developmental therapy and speech seasons later, Evie is catching up to her peers. She is smart, spunky, and full of energy. It hasn’t always been easy, but stepping out of my comfort zone has allowed me to experience a new joy. I’m no longer going through the motions of my faith, but I get to experience and see God in a deep and profound way.

I don’t want to think about what I would have missed if I had simply said, “ I don’t want to do this. Adoption is too hard.”

Are you listening to God? Is he asking you to do something? What would happen if you simply trusted him and stepped out in faith?